This is a humble and honest plea to anyone about to enter our domain. To the Disneys, and the Foxes, and the Sonys, and of course, those Warner Bros. With your vivid, soaring, global logos, your Oscar counts, and your bags of cash, We, the Indian film industry, welcome you to India.

Splashed on yards of paper; the trades, the economic pages, even the society columns, the news of almost every leading Hollywood studio sniffing around for real estate on our side of the world was hardly shocking news. We saw it coming for a while. It does, after all, make perfect, financial sense. It's the biggest benefit of these soon to be solidified deals; the coming together of capital for scintillating, groundbreaking, and oftentimes overindulgent, cinema. It's what we here in "Bollywood" do very well. So welcome, swagatam, take a moment, put down that copy of Variety, and give this a thought:

In our film fraternity, relationships are stronger than contracts. They always have been. It's why I can drop the F word (fraternity, what were you thinking?) so often and know in ever sense, that it's true. Our word is as permanent as ink, despite the bad apples that sometimes give us an amateurish reputation. We’ve been nurturing these equations for years, and we do it sans agents and managers and assistants. Those of us lucky to be raised within the industry have the word of our fathers, our siblings, and those friends that might as well be family. We're small, and we may bicker, but we've sat in each other’s living rooms, and we've built this industry to what it is.

A gesture of support, or an extension of an apology appeals to us more than those big corporate presentations. We like bold and we like technology, but give us a narration, not a pie chart! We might be a little old fashioned in our pitches, but we make films because the nation's heart thumps for it. Appeal to that sentiment, and understand our culture. Employ people who understand this about us, as an industry, and as a country. We're emotional, and we're more connected than you’d think, but we have our patterns. Try to understand who we are as an industry, what works for us and more importantly, for our audiences. What do they reject with morchas and embrace with jubilees? When sitting with your analysts, conduct a human analysis, not a business one. Deconstruct us if you must, but understand us at the end.

Alright, I'll admit it, I was trying to reel you in with emotion. Now let’s talk business. This isn't the age of vaudeville, we like our returns more than the next guy. Win my heart, but definitely, absolutely, help me win some of that gold. We Indians have some sharp acumen, so give us both. Blend the business with the creative. Understand why we know that an item song done right will make you money, and we’ll try to make heads or tails of your paperwork. We've been doing this for years, and our mines are filling up fast. To successfully comprehend us, try a cocktail of de-Americanization, and matkis full of Indianization.

Don't mock. Appreciate. All our formulas? They work! Ask anyone in Peru. Of course, you know this already; you've done your market research, but start to have a little fun with it now. We're a country that experiences almost everything in tsunami-proportioned waves. Cinema, Cricket, Politics. Eat, Sleep, Breathe. This is our pulse and our tipping points, and our fads are certainly worth a study. Tuck away some of that logic, we're built on escapism after all. What's the point of entertainment if it's not just a little bit shocking? In the next meeting, replace "just because" with "what if?" and your entire frame will start to speak cinema scope.

Before I run the risk of sounding too preachy, it is imperative to communicate that the impetus of this thought comes from a place of deep sincerity, written from a spirit of hope, and with the anticipation of successful partnerships in the offing. The future is looking well lit for both of us. We like your films. We copy half of them. We even gape at your process and infrastructure, but respect that we've got one too. This “Bolly” isn’t in a wood, it’s in a jungle, and you've got to understand the law of this jungle.

Love and koffee,

Karan.